Singles and Marrieds, working together

June 17, 2024

“That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ.” Colossians 2:2

In the vibrant tapestry of faith, we find ourselves woven together by the threads of love, grace, and truth that bind us as believers in life's journey. Whether we find ourselves in the embrace of marriage, the solitude of singleness, the mending of divorce, or the tender ache of widowhood, we stand united in devotion to Jesus Christ and his word. This picture embodies our church’s vision statement as “a body of believers, bound together by our love for Jesus Christ and his Word, reflecting God’s love, grace, and truth.”

Imagine a mosaic of souls, each unique, yet collectively reflecting the splendor of God’s love. Within the sanctuary of our hearts, singles hold a cherished place, celebrated for the richness they bring to our community. Yet, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 scripture states that, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow…” These verses express the universal importance of connection. In our church community, we offer support to every member. It's equally vital for each individual to actively pursue personal growth and intentionally engage in one another's lives, regardless of marital status. “From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.”[1]

Singles Share Powerful Insights in Recent Survey

Our church body recently embarked on a significant undertaking, delving into the experiences of our single members through a comprehensive singles survey. In the survey, the voices of over 450 singles aged 25 and over, from 67 churches, shared their insights including joys, sorrows, and struggles. Two-thirds of the singles reported being committed to the local and national church. Yet, despite the Apostolic Christian Church being a welcoming place for families, singles expressed challenges in feeling included. They desire to be part of a community that “does life together.”

While some individuals find contentment in singleness, more than 50% expressed a desire for marriage. As a church community, it's crucial to acknowledge that while some, like Paul, possess the gift of contentedness being single, others yearn for companionship on life's journey. Let's embrace and support each other, while also recognizing and respecting each person’s diverse path and needs. We recognize that we may not be able to change each other’s circumstances, but we can walk beside and let others know we care.

Among the revelations was a clear call for action from singles, a plea for deeper integration, and a longing to diminish the lines between age or marital status. Singles yearn for companionship and true belonging within our fellowship. As a church, we are committed to extending support. It's a good time for consideration of ways we can help each other grow stronger in Christ.

Helping Each Other Grow Stronger in our Walk with Christ

First, let’s shift our mindset and recognize our identity in Christ more than our marital status. Let's embrace the diversity of needs among singles and foster genuine connections that transcend societal norms. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”[2]

We can create spaces of genuine connection by personally inviting singles into the fabric of our church life and empowering them to enrich our collective journey. Married members are encouraged to reach out and get to know singles, widows, widowers, and divorcees; understand their stories; and offer support. Yet, singles understand they are also responsible and accountable for reaching out to married couples and learning of their journeys, joys, and sharing encouragement they may need.

The survey reported loneliness as the number one challenge for singles, especially on Sundays. Therefore, let us be intentional in our inclusivity, creating avenues for fellowship and interaction that span generations and genders.

Two-thirds of singles reported they would like more support from their local congregation. In keeping within that line of thinking, here are some ways to support them.

-------------------------------------- Continued portion below --------------------------------------

Ways the church family can be supportive to singles, widowers and those who have journeyed through divorce:

1. Invite them to join you in the bench in church.

2. Invite them to join you for a meal and invite others - married or single.

3. Get to know their story.

4. Pray for them regularly.

5. Pray for them over the pulpit.

6. Send a simple text or note of encouragement. It means so much!

7. Remember them as they walk through different seasons. For example, if they lose a parent, consider what it must be like to walk through that journey alone. Or if they are widowed or divorced, consider the challenges and loneliness they may face after having a helpmate for so many years.

Ways singles, widowers, and divorcees can support married couples, families, and the church in general:

1. Pray for them regularly.

2. Reach out to a married couple and get to know them and their family.

3. Offer to help meet needs as they are expressed by couples, families (ex., offer to babysit, take a meal, etc.)

4. Stay active in the church community.

5. Send words of encouragement through a text or written note.

6. Joint Bible studies.

7. Joint mission projects (E.g., working together as married couples, families, and singles at local food banks, packing clothes, etc.)

Let us extend our arms in friendship, reaching out to singles with transparency and compassion. Likewise, singles should reach out to married couples, fostering mutual understanding and support through prayer and shared experiences. Remember, these interactions are not just for the benefit of singles, but for enriching our entire church community. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”[3]

As we integrate more closely one with another, we collectively shine as beacons of Christ’s love in a world yearning for connection and belonging. Let us embrace this beautiful opportunity to walk hand in hand, for as we integrate, we truly illuminate one another, shine for Christ, and share his love with others.

[1] Ephesians 4:16

[2] Romans 12:10

[3] Philippians 2:4

< Older Post

Newer Post >

Always thankful

October 21, 2026

As we approach the end of fall and the harvest season, we often focus our attention on Thanksgiving Day. We are fortunate to live in a land that recognizes the need to pause and give thanks to our great God for the many blessings he bestows upon us. However, the Bible calls us to be thankful in all times and circumstances – not just once a year. “O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good.” [i] “In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” [ii] These two verses are similar and yet can be interpreted differently if quoted in isolation. Thanking God for his goodness seems an easy commandment to obey; however, some circumstances are more difficult to appreciate. Giving thanks or being thankful is referenced over one hundred times in scripture. And naturally it can seem easier to give thanks when circumstances are pleasing. It is easier to thank God when a loved one repents. It is easier to thank him when we are sitting in church, listening to his Word, worshipping in song, surrounded by faithful believers. It is easier to recite 1 Thess. 5:18 when the trials of life are light and well-spaced. But what happens when life is not going well, circumstances seem impossible, or difficulties seem to pile up? Can we have thankful posture in dire situations or through sad experiences? It is clear in the Bible that by God’s grace and with intentional effort, we can have a thankful spirit and respect toward God even when the load is heavy. Scriptures in Job provide an excellent Old Testament example. After hearing a series of devastating reports about his family and possessions, Job was able to say “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” [iii] After being struck with sore boils from the sole of his foot to his crown and having been ridiculed by his wife for retaining his integrity, Job said “Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” [iv] Job did not minimize the pain of the evil he was experiencing, but in the midst of the devastation he focused his attention on the goodness and faithfulness of God. Likewise, the disciples in the New Testament were often faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles as they spread the Word of God. Yet they looked upon their afflictions as a privilege. After being beaten and commanded to not speak in the name of Jesus, “They departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.” [v] At the same time, when Stephen was stoned, they grieved deeply at the devastating loss, yet trusted in God’s grace and goodness to see them through and somehow redeem the worst of circumstances. -----------------CONTINUED PORTION BELOW-------------------- Remembering the Lord's graciousness and track record of bringing good out of evil can help us maintain a thankful heart despite the challenges we face. Whether amidst hard circumstances or easy, we can focus on the goodness and faithfulness of God. Without intentional focus, we can tend to overlook gratitude when life is good because the very simple and basic needs of life are so easily realized. An abundance of material blessings can lead us to take basic needs for granted. However, being grounded in a thankful spirit can help carry us when sometimes things do not seem abundant. Simple disciplines or practices can help us foster this thankful spirit. Taking the time to pause and write a list of all we have received from God, giving him thanks for his goodness can help us turn from an entitled mindset toward a thankful mindset. Remembering God's goodness can be especially helpful when life is hard. The practice of gratitude journaling helps us remain focused on God above all during these overwhelming times. Beyond the physical needs that can be so easy to count, he also provides many spiritual blessings. In time of need, he provides us with an abundance of grace that gives us love we do not deserve and helps us serve him in ways far beyond what we could do of our own ability. God’s wisdom and his compassion assure us that he will provide for all our needs, and yet he will also withhold what is harmful if we will allow him to do so. He knows our needs and in his infinite wisdom he will supply all our needs. A practice of worshipping God can also help grow our spiritual life and encourage grateful hearts. God’s truths can be engraved into our minds as we sing and praise him, no matter the circumstances. In addition, our church body encourages us to connect, travel, and grow together as believers, helping one another during both joyous and hard times in life. This spiritual connection with others is a spiritual blessing that can easily be forgotten. Finally, many of us have been born into families where we were taught the truth of God’s Word, being exposed since we were young to the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ and the knowledge of our great and loving God whom we can call Father. This thankful spirit is often born out of knowing the Father, whose image we carry. Having a clear vision and understanding of God’s character and attributes can help us develop a thankful spirit. Among the many reasons to thank God are his power, his grace, and his mercy. We thank him for the love he showed when he sent his only begotten son, allowing us to have forgiveness of our sins and victory over death through repentance, confession, and faith in his name. He provides his Word, giving us a perfect source of wisdom and direction for our lives. His Holy Spirit provides believers with comfort, conviction, and guidance toward all truth. In addition, there are many other attributes of God to consider such as his goodness, presence, sustenance, protection, and many more. The implications for our lives of the many attributes in this list, which could be much longer, are beyond human comprehension but worth contemplating more deeply as we practice a life of gratitude. Whether you are in a joyous time of life or a time when life is difficult, may the remembrance of these many truths provide a new understanding to the Scripture’s challenge to, “In every thing, give thanks.” [vi] May this Thanksgiving holiday remind you of our great and good God, the loving sacrifice of Jesus, and the faithful presence of the Holy Spirit who has come to guide us not only in the good, but also in the difficult of life. And may this testimony of thankfulness greatly affect our own lives and the lives of those around us. [i] Psalm 107:1 [ii] I Thess. 5:18 [iii] Job 1:21 [iv] Job 2:10 [v] Acts 5:41 [vi] I Thess. 5:18